Recently, I've heard quite a few women referring to themselves as "bad moms". These women are smart, strong, and love their children deeply... but, recently had not been at their best around them.
It has led me to wonder: where did we learn that a few bad moments once in a while equates to fundamentally ruining our children? It is a thought I have too... It's so easy to see the ridiculousness in this sentiment when it is about someone else's family, but so hard when it's your own. When we feel this way let's take a breath and ask ourselves: "Do I love my child? Do I want the best for my child?" (Because these are, fundamentally, the most important things our children need to feel from us.). Then ask: "Do I need to apologize to them? What do I need to feel stronger and calmer?" Reflect and then act in whatever way will fix the problem... Imagine our kids experiencing that? Choosing to react this way will help us to see that "I wasn't my best with my kids" moment differently. We will no longer feel that we are "ruining them", because we know that we modelled making amends. Most importantly, our kids will learn that when they mess up, or lose their temper, they can fix it too
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AuthorKathleen Hilchey is a mom of 3, sleep coach, and anti-bullying specialist based out of Dundas, Ontario. Archives
December 2020
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